Things my amazing Muffin has taught me about friendship

I have a very wise friend. She is honest, articulate, intelligent, and tactfully blunt. She is fiercely loyal and would drop everything in a second to help someone in need. She has given me some fantastic insights on the evolution of friendships. I could use all the help I could get because let's face it, girl friendships are just shitstorms sometimes. And I'm so not down with girl drama.

These are some of her insights, some of them paraphrased and some straight up plagiarized (i.e. #7 and 8, I can't put in any better words):

1.)  If you feel the need to ask a friend if you guys are growing apart, you probably are. Duh.

2.)  If you're going to be pissed at someone, be pissed at them. But sort out what front you'll present them with before you talk to them.

3.)  Unresolved issues in a friendship have a tendency to rear their head in smaller situations down the road, and they can even define how you act or react to something else.

4.)  Don't demand honesty unless you're willing to be totally transparent yourself. It's only fair.

5.)  Friendships evolve and expectations change, as do people themselves. You just need to roll with it and not dwell on what once was.

6.)  As much as I may desire closure, sometimes it's not always best to talk things out and it's not always best to say something.

7.)  It sucks to lose a friend, especially one you're super close to and did everything with. But it's like when you dump someone. You dump them for a reason, and sometimes you miss them and think you want to get back together, and sometimes you do get back together and then realize you were chasing the memory of your relationship when it was good, not the relationship that has since evolved to be counterproductive.

8.) The parameters of friends, and the definitions of friendship are forever changing. In high school, a best friend was someone you spent all your time with, had sleepovers with, told all your secrets to, laughed with, always called first when something exciting happened, someone that you always picked first to be on your team. Think about that now, who is that today? It's really, really hard to find the medium with your high school friends, and sometimes you never will. Just accept your friendship for what it is and what it is now.

Sigh. Boys are so much simpler than girls.